The Holly & The Ivy
by BlackCat3978
Summary: Just a quick holiday story featuring Shep, Liara and crew. It'll be longer than a one shot, but it's a work in progress as I have time to write this week, so any and all reviews, suggestions, critques welcomed. Happy Holidays everybody! update, as of 1/10/13 I haven't abandoned the fic, real-life has been full of drama lately.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Mass Effect and its Characters are property of BioWare, I just try and make you laugh. For no otherreason than just because, I decided to throw together a quick yuletide story with our favorite Normandy crew. Now, as a former Sunday School teacher, one would think I would stick to the strictly religious aspects of the holiday season, I find after a revelation that humanity is not the only intelligent like in the universe would throw many faiths into disarray. While I am certain that many religious doctrines would find themselves at odds with the reality (in Mass Effect anyway) that humans are not alone, just as the early Roman Catholic church hijacked existing European winter celebrations, feel good customs surrounding the holiday would continue to flourish even if Christianity itself fell by the way side. So grab you eggnog and enjoy a little nonsensical fluff.**

**AN2: Those who have read my other works already are aware of this, but I have a tendancy to add to existing chapters. This is the first such instance. I've updated chapter 1, Liara and Shep are still in their cabin, getting ready for the party.**

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Commander Jane Shepard defeated a rogue agent of the reapers, hell bent on bringing death and destruction to the Citadel. She returned unscathed from a mission others had called impossible, even suicide. Even facing a yahg in hand to hand combat didn't faze the Hero of the Citadel. Planning a holiday party on the other hand is not something she had signed up for.

"Remind me once again why I agreed to do this. Can't we just got to Purgatory or something, I'm sure Aria would mind."

"As I have told you before Shepard, that night club is not an appropriate venue for children. Even Aria agrees with me on this fact. Why can you not."

"Why do we have to invite kids to this thing anyway. Who on the ship even has kids? Except Adams and your Dad, no one ever talked about having children in the first place."

"But Liara, why for the love of God are you making me wear this suit. Are you trying to imply that I'm fat!?" The commander pouted as the Asari's nimble fingers proceeded to fasten the last remaining buttons on the red velvet suit the Shadow Broker had procured to find at a curio shop that survived the reaper invasion.

"Despite Joker's enthusiasm, the children would injury them in their exuberance. The suit simply does not fit Garrus, and seriously, could you see a toddler sitting on Wrex's lap Shepard?

"What, you couldn't picture the big guy in a red suit? I'm quite sure they'd behave for Wrex" Shepard rolled her shoulders, allowing the fabric to fall comfortably into place before setting at the foot of the bed to put on the matching boots

" I have heard several accounts of children becoming traumatized after an encounter with Father Christmas, we do not need to create them. "

"well I'm not wearing the damn beard. We can tell 'em Santa had a sex change or something."

"Shepard! Goddess, I swear your have been spending entirely too much time in Aria's company. Ever since your...incident, you have become more brazen."

"Hey she kissed me remember. I didn't even know it happened till it happened! And besides, don't change the subject. How is it I was volunteered to wear this get up. Your father put you up to this didn't she?"

"Actually, it was Dr. Chakwas' who made the suggestion. She mentioned you had patience that many lack, and people trust you, especially children." Liara lowered her voice to a sultry low before straddling the Commander, who sat their dumbfounded in the red and white suit. "I for one very much enjoy this custom of sitting in Santa's lap. However I am afraid I would be on the naughty list if I am honest."

Shepards mouth parched as the Asari teased her earlobe, an act that always drove her wild "Liara..." The commander whispered. "Or you going to torture me before I get mobbed by a bunch of rug rats begging me for the latest Blasto Vid game or the newest iMuse upgrade for their omnitool."

"Tease? No." Liara replied, eyes gently swirling black as she initiated a shallow meld, erotic images flashing thought their shared consciousness, causing the human to tense with arousal. "Simply reminding you of Santa's reward at the end of the evening."

"Uh...When does the party start and how long is it?"

"Are guests shall begin arriving within the hour, and the festivities are expected to run for about two hours, or until 8pm."

"What happens at 8?"

"Well, as you say, that is when the real party begins." Liara smirked, pushing herself off of the Commanders lap, leaving the human wide-eyed and wanting.

Slack jawed and speechless from Liara's teasing, Shepard remained glued to the bed as she watched the Asari saunter over to the closet to select her own outfit.

On the commander's insistence, Liara had moved all of her belongs to the loft even before the war had ended. The few times the redhead found comfort was when she lay in Liara's embrace, the Asari's loving and soothing presence calming her entire being.

A puzzled expression played across the marine's face as the Shadow Broker chuckled seductively. "Yes, this one will be perfect." She cooed, pulling a black garment bag out of the back corner of the wardrobe.

"Is that a new outfit?" Shepard asked, voice still breaking as she attempted to quell her growing desire. She couldn't very well entertain a room full children in her current state.

"It is. I located it at the same shop in which I purchased your suit." Liara smiled as she pulled the red garment out, laying on the bed as she looked through the closet once more to find the matching heels.

"I see you got a jacket like mine, but where are the pants?" Shepard asked, looking at the low neckline of the velvety red fabric.

"That is a dress Shepard. There are no pants." Liara spoke as she was bent down digging deeper into the closet, as her heels had managed to get stuck in the back of the wardrobe.

Although she worshiped the Asari's perfect body, Shepard definitely considered herself an ass woman, and this angle gave the commander a very inciting view of Liara's luscious backside. Somehow, at this moment, the site short circuited the otherwise articulate marine's though process "Huh?". She wasn't drooling, not yet anyway.

"It is a dress." Liara continued, removing her bathrobe to put on the lingerie she had received as a gift from her father. The note attached to the delivery box simply read _Trust me, you'll thank me later, - Dad_. The ensemble, consisting of a strapless red lace bustier with matching panties, contrasted dramatically with Liara's light blue skin. "Shepard?" Liara stood in front of the commander, arms crossed as her lips curved into a sultry grin. "You are staring."

"What...sorry." She blushed, heat pooling between her legs but she wasn't sorry, not by any means.

"Hmm hmm." Leaning over the human to grab the dress, breasts within an inch of the woman's face, "You wouldn't mind helping me put on my outfit would you." She whispered before scooting back, out of arms reach

"If you keep teasing me like that we're never going to the fucking party." Shepard all but groaned in her response. The commander dared running a hand along the curve of the Asari's hip, only to have it gently brushed away with a light touch of biotics.

"Now now Shepard, you must behave tonight. We cannot have Santa being on the naughty list." Turning Liara stepped into the dress, turning so that her back, and thus the zipper faced the commander

"I'll show you naughty T'Soni." Shepard stood to close the dress back, only to lean into the Asari, pulling her flush against her body. From this angle, she could clearly see plunging neckline of the dress. The dress was reminiscent of the sexy Mrs. Claus costumes the woman had worn to Halloween parties in her youth. Then, they were merely a joke, a scandalous joke, but a joke none the less. But now, seeing this on her bondmate however, it was all the marine could do to not throw the Asari on the bed and ravage her on the spot.

"Patience my love." Liara threw her head back, relishing the strong arms of her commander.

"As much as I love you in this outfit...especially the things I imagine myself doing to you with it on, you can't possibly thing of wearing this downstairs. This is not kid appropriate attire." Shepard spoke in voice so low it rumbled against Liara's neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"Goddess." She closed her eyes to maintain control over her building desire as she stepped out of the embrace, turning to face flushed Shepard"I have that covered as well. I also purchased an overcoat to accompany this dress."

"Thank god. Can't go scarring the kids for life."

"Despite our years together, it still amazes me how truly prudish humans are when it comes to their sexuality."

"This isn't tawdry T'soni?" Shepard teased.

"All Asari are not ashamed to 'show a little skin' as you say."

"Yea well try explaining that to a confused 7 yearold."

"Do not worry. I will wear the overcoat." Liara threaded her arms through the matching red overcoat. "Shall we, our guests are waiting."

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**AN 3: Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh and all that people. A quick chapter to lay the ground work. Came up with the idea after we talked one of the guys at work to put on a Santa suit for the office party last week. Let's just say it took some friendly , yet devious persuasion to convince him it was a good idea...**

**Thank you everyone for your response so far. I am truly humbled to have received reviews for this little ditty from some of my favorite authors. Those reviews are addictive. Sorry Chapter 1 was so short for my tastes, but I hope to make up for that in upcoming installments. And for the loyal readers of my other OC/Aria fic, The Turning Tide, I'm not sacrificing that story for this one. It's just that time of year for me as an accountant and I haven't had the hours I'd prefer to write available, as I have am working on yearend payroll and all that. I do plan to do a bit of updating next week, but that will be dictated by having time (I have to work Saturday and Christmas Eve but I have a nice 5 day weekend New years!) And...yeah I'm going head canon here. In my mind the Reapers are destroyed, Shepard's alive and the relays were easily repairable (I mean come on, they can literally bring Shep back from the dead but all of sudden have mechanical difficulties with space junk...my ass!)**

**AN 4: I have been so honored to collaborate with one of my own favorite authors, MiizBHavvin, on chapter 2 (possibly more, we shall see). If you have not yet had the opportunity to read her fics, please do so. They are sinfully hot and hilarious. If you have not read her fics, please do yourself a favor, stop reading this fic and go read hers, they are most certainly worth the time. Updates TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Mass Effect and its Characters are property of BioWare, I just try and make you laugh. **

**Special thanks again to one of my own favorite authors, MiizBHavvin, for her help with this chapter. Editing was a joy, I couldn't stop laughing! If you have not yet had the opportunity to read her fics, please do so. It's hard for me to chose a favorite as all of her stories are sinfully hot and hilarious. Check her out at www . fanfiction u / 3388721 / MiizBHavvin. And again, to my Turning Tide readers...I'll plan on working on those updates this weekend, your patience is greatly appreciated.**

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Liara quickly steered Shepard to the door giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "You look jolly, and adorable." Sensing Shepard's hesitation Liara gave her a quick pat on the rear and said: "I'll meet you in a minute, go on, you don't want to be late."

Once Shepard was securely out of range Liara reached for the special Christmas delivery package she'd been hiding from her bond-mate all week. Any guilt she felt from keeping this secret was suddenly washed over by giggles and contentment. Bond-mates shared everything, including bouncing, drooling, crying, tantrum prone, dirty diapered, bundles of joy.

Yes, according to Liara's research, the jolly, introverted and obese stranger (she doubted could fit into a chimney), with his mass effect driven reindeer, because how else in the Goddess could they cover so much ground, would be out delivering parcels to the galaxy's naughty and nice.

"I wonder if we should be calling him Santa Broker, as he seems to know everything about everyone… Interesting… And he only makes himself known once per year…"

"Liaraaaa, where are you?" An irate Commander asks.

Snapped out of her reverie Liara promptly responds she is on her way. The truth is, she's barely opened the box. "Fornax Fuzzy Christmas Fornicators Inc." Fuzzy. The bustier wrapped around her chest perfectly. The fishy stocks around her legs amazingly…

"Jesus fuck, where are you? I swear I'm leaving in 30 seconds…"

Goddess, how insufferable. "Be right there." She looked through the box quickly and finished dressing: Top, check. Skirt, although very short, check. Stockings, check. Shoes… yes there they are. Good to go.

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Leaving Liara to finish getting ready, Shepard made her way toward Apollo's Cafe. There she was greeted by her father-in-law, who was supervising the event staff as they put the finishing touches on the party decor. Holiday music played through the cafe's sound system, an instrumental version of the classic The Holly & The Ivy played much to the human's amuzement.

"Bout time you got here Shepard." The Matriarch smirked as she eyed the Savior of the Galaxy, dressed in a Goddess awful red velvet suit. "No beard Shepard? I thought you're supposed to be some jolly old fat man in a suit."

"You want me jolly, no beard and no fat suit. If they ask, just say Santa got some genetic enhancements." Shepard cringed when she thought of wearing the scruffy white synthetic hairpiece that caused her to break out the first time she tried it on.

Aethyta poured the marine and herself a drink as they waited the final fifteen minutes before the children will begin arriving. "I'm not much on human traditions Shepard, but this is a good thing you're doing for this kids. Don't matter if their human, asari, hell even krogan. To be able to just act like children for even a few hours will help them cope with the loss. Especially those orphaned by that damn war."

"I wish I was able to do more for them. Playing Santa is the least I can do, give them some normalcy." Shepard sighed as she took a drink "Scotch?" She question with a raised brow. "How'd you know?"

"My daughter isn't the only one who can find out the commander's secrets." Aethyta chuckled, finishing her own glass. "Figured you could use it."

"Thanks" Shepard nodded, setting the empty glass down, grabbing several mints from the bar. For despite her love for the old earth vid Bad Santa, a drunken Santa was not something anyone needed to be subject to.

The Santa Commander made her way to the area the cafe staff had set up for the photoshoot. Decorated in a Santa's workshop theme, at the center of the alcove were two ornate chairs, one each for Santa and Mrs. Claus. Nodding to the two Asari waitresses who had been tasked with manning the lines. Each waitress was dressed in scantily clad elf costumes. Shepard shook her head, stifling a laugh. Definitely Aethyta's idea, the human mused.

The Savior of the Galaxy was brought out of her train of thought as she heard Aethyta tell everyone to get ready for the sugar junky horde. From what the Matriarch estimated, at least three hundred children and their parents or guardians had come to see Santa. The line to see the commander wrapped back toward the shopping district.

Sitting back in her chair, Shepard's bright white smile gleamed as the first child, a young Asari holding Aethyta's hand. The child, orphaned after her mother and father were killed during the failed Cerberus coup, was no older than four if the commander had to guess. "Let's go see Santa little one." The Matriarch spoke in a motherly tone the commander never heard from her grizzled father-in-law. She couldn't help but feel a burst of pride in the moment. This was a great idea.

Hoisting the little one onto her lap, Shepard smiled gently at the little girl "Merry Christmas litte one. Can you tell Santa your name honey?"

"My name in Tasha. I thought your were a human male Santa? Why do you look like Commander Shepard that fought the monsters?"

"Well, I'm an elf see, and I have magic powers that can make me look like whoever I want to. And since the brave Commander Shepard saved the Citedal from the big mean machines, Mrs. Claus thought it would be a bgood idea if I were to make myself look like the Commander today."

The child looked at her apprehensively at first, eyes narrowed as she scrutinized the human, before saying "Okay, Santa I was real good all year and I would be real happy if I could have ..."

Over the next hour, as Shepard saw maybe twenty thirty different kids, she found it hard to contain her tears. The orphan tugged at her heart strings. She promised to herself to speak with Liara after the party about looking in to adopting a couple of them. It tore at the woman's heart that she wasn't able to save the children's parents. She had to make it right some how, for now though, she could be a face, well a suit really, they all recognized and were comforted by.

However, the enthusaium with the children wanned as the second hour approached. Now, instead of seeing greatful children who only wished for family, a home, or to be happy, she was inundated by a steady stream of brats. Shepard was utterly miserable midway through the second hour, poorly behaved kid after poorly behaved kid, on her lap, slapping her, pinching her, farting on her, drooling on her. She swore one almost peed on her but she wasn't quiet sure... While their parents stood idly by waving and grinning idiotically while posing for pictures with the savior of the galaxy.

Just then a very confident Asari waltzed in, shedding her long jacket. Oh good God. She then eased herself into the Mrs. Claus seat. There was one line, until now. As children, husbands and bond-mates stared two divisive lines gradually formed. The line to see Mrs. Claus became undeniably longer.

Nervous women and children went to see Santa, while everyone else went to see Mrs. Claus, happily so.

Shepard leaned into Liara and whispered, "I'm going to the can, you look like you can handle things. Be right back… with booze. How did we get talked into this?"

Liara, unused to so much attention shooed her bond-mate away after a quick kiss, shifted her position and very enthusiastically yelled: "Next!"

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Having made sure her suit was in prooper order, she had been fortunate that the weak bladder held. She would last through the adult party. Just a another hour she thought as she left the restroom. After signing several autographs on her way back, Shepard sighed as she took a glass of eggnog, or at least what Aethyta called eggnog. The Matriarch could tell the evening, oung as it was, was already wearing on the commander's nerves, so she added a little more liquor than the recipe called for. The human looked like she needed a stiff drink.

Dejectedly, Shepard looks at her chrono. Fuck, 2 hours to go. As she approaches the crowd, as it was when she left, her line has 30 people, Liara's, well too many to count, as they are lined up around the corner, reaching the outer halls of the human embassy. She looks so happy. Do this for her.

As she makes her way back to her Santa throne she sees a few of the Normandy's crew… In Liara's line. What the? Not that she'd ever be jealous of her bond-mate's attention, she has to wonder… Glancing over to her Mrs. Claus greeting a warmth over-comes her, followed by shock… "IS that?" She looks again, squinting. "Oh God… it is. Oh fuck… Please, oh God… cross your legs…"

Liara shifted again to welcome a full grown giddy marine. Shepard scowled. A child cried. She could hear a mother explaining to the crying child that Mrs. Claus was showing people how naughty behavior would get them a lump of coal.

_**TBC**_

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**AN: Thanks again for the kind reviews/follows/favs/pms. As always, keep 'em coming! **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Mass Effect and its Characters are property of BioWare, I just try and make you laugh. **

_**Thank you once again to my awesome collab partner MiizBHavvin. If you aren't reading her fics, stop reading this and go read her stories now! Santa Commander's watching!**_

_**This week has been insanely busy, and I haven't had time to do much of anything really, let alone write, so I apologize for the delay. Anyhow, several of my readers have asked if my OCs from the other fic would make an appearance.**_

_**Another thank you is owed to my readers for the kind reviews/follows/favs/pms. As always, keep 'em coming!**_

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Shepard stood there, unsure of how to process what she was witnessing. Despite the alluring site before her, Shepard felt it difficult to form a coherent thought as somewhat inebriated sergeant who was getting a little too close to Liara. Oh she wanted to hurt him. Who was this fucking boot touching her Asari! She seethed silently, face stoic as she quelled her fury.

The commander pictured herself stomping up to the sergeant and launching her devastating right hook to the man's jaw, shattering it. but there were children around, families. But the heroic savior of the galaxy couldn't go ape shot on some drunk marine for getting touchy feely. so she sat there, stewing, eye twitching as she clenched her fists struggling maintain control over her anger.

_Joker… This reeks of Joker. _Yes the fact that her bond-mate was now flashing a good part of herself to the galaxy was definitely his fault. Brittle bones or not, she'd have her eventual revenge.

Aethyta had seen everything in her 1000 years, including a dealing with raging girlfriends. The matriarch was about to approach the commander. However just as she began to leave he bar, Apollo's owner, Shea Nelson, approached. Alongside her bondmate Lenea, Shea held their youngest Isabella, who was currently resting atop the human woman's broad shoulders. Their eldest Dana, starting forward for the Citadel Raiders, followed closely behind as the family entered the cafe.

Handing her daughter to the Asari beside her, the woman chuckled at the flustered commander as she stood a few meters away, verbally assault a young marine for getting a bit close to Liara "Tough crowd Aethyta?"

"Actually, for about the last twenty minutes, the kid's line picked up. Managed to even get them to pay extra to get picture with her. What's the name again? Tawny Claus?"

Shea raised a brow, smirking "Hope you collecting a high fee. Looking at Shep, something tells me that guys gonna eat his teeth if he get any closer to..." Before Shea could finish could finish her sentence, she was interrupted by her daughter.

"Daddy, do I still get to see Santa?" Asked the little girl, her soft voice lighter somehow, as if hesitant to receive the answer.

"Yea, munchkin, why?" Replied she human, wrapping and arm around Lenea as she met her child's gaze.

"Cuz I think some bad kids upset Santa. Santa looks mad as Auntie Aria was when I broke her omnitool, 'member? And I wanna see Mrs. Claus. Look, all the dads wanna see her too. Come on, dad… Let's go!"

"I.. well. Let's see…." Glancing over to her mate, and her deathly-hallowed eyes, she chokes and states; "I remember munchkin. And your aunt wasn't mad, she was just, enthusiastic." That was putting it mildly.

The family was on the citadel for the holidays, visiting family. Several nights prior they gathered at a local restaurant to dine with Aria and Thea. Midway through dinner little Isabella had managed to convince her aunt to let her play with her omnitool. Unfortunately the child spilled soda over it, causing it to short. Deleting all content stored on the device, including some rather 'sentimental vid footage' Aria could not replace, as surely T'Soni wouldn't send another copy

"But why's Santa mad Daddy?"

"Santa's probably just tired sweetie, what with having to take toys all over the galaxy with just reindeer. That's a slow way of getting around these days."

"Couldn't Santa get a ship that's fast like you and mommy's?"

Mrs. Claus received another giddy, young marine on her lap. The look on his face said it all. "Fuck Santa. Now thissss…. Is Christmas.

Liara, aka Mrs. Claus, was quite uncomfortable. It seemed like hours she was sitting in this position, with grown yet happy men, and some women occupying her lap. After hearing this young man's wish she decided it was time for a stretch.

Upon hearing the groans she decided it was break time.

"Maybe." Feeling the tension grow as she saw Shepard wander back toward the bar, not looking at anyone, Shea made a decision. "Lenea, take Isabella to my office to play with her toys. Dana and I will handle this."

"What do you plan on doing Dad?" Dana was as intimating as her aunt, as she favored the Asari in many ways, including the same facial tattoos framing her face. If it weren't her father's emerald green eyes, many would mistake her for Aria.

"What I do best."

"Goddess Dad, tell me you're not going start a fight in front of Shepard and Liara."

"No, but they need a break. The adult party isn't for another hour and a half. Time to clear the raging hormones out of here so the kids can finish their time with St. Nick."

"How are you going to do that?"

"From the booth." The woman gestured to behind the recess in the bar "How else."

Taking to the mic the woman made the announcement that Santa and Mrs. Claus were currently taking a break, with all photos halted for the next 10 minutes, prepping the next set of holiday music, starting with an old favorite of the human's, 'This Christmas'. As the lines cleared, the crowd dispersed to various corners of the market district as they waited.

Shepard looked at Liara from her spot at the bar. With such an innocent and playful look on her face, she could not bring herself to be mad at the Asari. But she was definitely going to have some fun with this. As if reading the commander's mind, Aethyta spoke.

"You know, after you see the last group of kids, you could make this a bit of a competition Shepard."

Perplexed, Shepard looked at the matriarch "How you figure?"

"Well, I've been charging more than 300 creds a pop to those pyjacks who wanted to sit with the kid. Got a nice little chunk of change for the children at the orphanage already. Well, two can play that game right. You gotta nice ass too. I say let's see who can get the most 'donations' tonight. Friendly of course. But it would be fun."

"So how do you plan on making my line grow then, and please pour me a drink. Ryncol, I have a feeling am gonna need it?"

"Oh, I have my ways." The elder Asari smiled. She had already sent a ping to dozens of her commando friends, Aria and even that cute little comm specialist of Shepard's whose ass she'd been trying to get at for the past month. The night was about to get very entertaining to say the least.

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Meanwhile, as Aria and Thea prepared at the later's apartment for the party scheduled later that evening, Aria received a message from Aethyta. Aria couldn't say that she was overly surprised to hear from Liara's father regarding the party at Apollo's. She had been aware of the festivities as her and Shea had discussed them a week prior when they were having family dinner. It was supposed to be a family event and her youngest niece was going to go see 'Santa'. What she didn't expect was the request she received.

_TO: A. T'Loak_

_From: Aethyta _

_Hey Aria,_

_I need some help. Shep and Liara's Santa thing. Shep's about to lose it with people drooling over Liara's outfit (you'll see what I mean when I get here.) I know you wanted to get back at her for that prank at your birthday party, so now's your chance. _

_Shea asked for you come down and bring her crew, she has an idea and said you would know what she was talking about. _

_Oh and Dana said she didn't forget about the New Year's gig at Purgatory, but she's got a game and might not be able to get there until later in the evening. Get here quick before Shea or Shepard loses their temper and do something stupid._

_We don't need another incident with C-Sec. I realize she's the only human to ever become an officer in the Asari military, but I swear she acts like an idiot half the time. It was hard enough to explain why Shea ended up driving that antique of gas guzzler of hers through the financial district. She's lucky she retired with rank otherwise she would have been arrested on the spot. Anyway get your ass down here._

_Aethyta_

Aria shook her head. The woman was more irritating then Shepard, but the pirate Queen loved her anyway. They certainly had history, and they were family after all. Shea had been part of the T'Loak family since the early 21st century. The eezo in the human's bloodstream had altered her DNA as a child, allowing her to age similar to an Asari. Despite the fact she was now well over 190 years old, this along with Shea's obsessive workout regimen, she looked no older than a human in their late twenties or early thirties.

At times however, despite Aria's grooming the girl as a protégé, she acted like a maiden half the time, doing stupid shit like taking her muscle car on a joyride through the presidium while the damage done by the Reaper War was being repaired. Aria thought it was funny, but Thea was furious. It had taken a creative pleading from Aria to keep Thea and C-Sec satisfied that the blonde wouldn't do it again. Tonight would be no different.

"Thea," Aria called to the Asari in the bathroom as she herself stepped into the walk-in closet. "Party's starting early. Guess playtimes over."

"I thought they were taking Isabella to see St. Nicholas, or rather Shepard dressed as him in any event."

"From what Aethyta just told me I guess Liara's wearing some outfit that's causing a bit of a stir in the lines. Sooo...we're gonna help Shep and Shea out. Do you still have that red number you wore to Dana's last victory party?"

"I believe so, why?" Tevos, wrapped in a towel, walked into the closet joining Aria.

"Wear it. Time to get some payback."

"Aria, we are not having sex in public. Goddess, there are children present."

"Get your mind out of the gutter Councilor. We're just going to make her uncomfortable and increase the number of sexy visitors going to see Shepard." Aria smiled, herself selecting a revealing suede outfit she had received as an anniversary gift. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"As long as the evening does not end with Shea getting arrested again, then we shall say it was a good idea."

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**AN: I hope you enjoy the updated chapter. More to follow soon. Happy New Year everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Mass Effect and its Characters are property of BioWare, I just try and make you laugh.**

Thank you once again to my awesome collab partner MiizBHavvin. If you aren't reading her fics, stop reading this and go read her stories...now...Santa Commander's watching.

New Years week has been filled with real life obligations both for myself and MiizBHavvin. And much respect is due to MiizB as she volunteered as a designated driver. She safely delivered inebriated revelers to their homes New Years Eve, celebrating herself the following night.

Another thank you is owed to my readers for the kind reviews/follows/favs/pms. As always, keep 'em coming!

* * *

With the crowd cleared of sex crazed visitors looking to see Mrs. Claus in all her glory, and after carefully repositioning her jacket to cover the more exposed areas of her nether regions, Liara stood beside Shepard as the awaited the children's line to restart.

Still blushing to an almost purple hue, Liara sighed, grasping her bondmate's hand "I guess this explains why I had so many repeat visits from Lieutenant Vega"

Shepard seethed internally, struggling to maintain a calm exterior. "Oh really...When was Vega here? I didn't see him." while her face remained stoic, her hands shook slightly with contained rage. Something only Liara would have noticed

Liara sensing Shepard's discomfort at the mention of the lieutenant, wrapped her arms around the commander's waist."He was here when you had excused yourself earlier. I thought he was just acting so child like in his excitement over Santa Claus. I did find it rather odd that he returned continued returning to the lines. Lieutenant Cortez and Ashley escorted him back to the Normandy after his third attempt."

"Oh I bet he was excited..."Shepard recalling Vega's near drooling reaction the first time he had laid eyes on her Asari on mars whispered to herself, almost inaudibly "Planet full of those blue beauties my ass."

"The lieutenant may be a physically imposing man, impressive to some, but he is not my type. You need not worry my love."

"Oh I'm not worried about you. But it looks like it's time to show Vega a few new moves." _Glass jaw jarhead mother_ _fu_...Shepard's train of thought was broken as Aethyta and Shea appeared at their side.

"See now this is more like it." Aethyta smiled as a dozen Asari arrived at Apollo's, all members of the Citadel's skyball team.

Shepard looked at Shea, who grinning ear to ear. "Where did they all come from? Who knew so many Asari were into Santa Claus"

"I think it has more to do with whose wearing the suit Shepard. We made a few calls. Looks like Aethyta and Dana pulled through." The taller human turned to her daughter, giving her and her team instructions "Dana, would you and these fine ladies please secure the waiting area and only allow children with their parent or guardian through for the remaining hour of the children's party?"

"Sure thing Dad." Dana said as she and her teammates took to manning the waiting area. While not commandos, as professional athletes, the young Asari and her teammates were all physically imposing, able to provide more than adequate crowd control.

"Well Shep, let's finish off with the kiddies than the real fun can begin." Shea smiled between Liara and Shepard, winking at Shepard before continuing "Don't worry we'll keep the Daddy's at bay" _For now anyway_, the bar owner thought to herself as she retreated to the office for her daughter and bondmate.

The scene returned to normal as children returned with their parents, eager to have their time with Santa. While the children were a mixture of ill behaved and angelic, the marine no longer festering over her obliviously friendly bondmate's earlier predicament. Shepard's mind returned to thoughts of wanting to do more for the deserving children who had lost so much during the and after the war.

During a particularly long lull between children, well if you could call five minutes a long time, Shepard leant over to Liara "Do you have any specific information about the Asari orphanage who brought the young ones earlier?"

"I believe the broker may have files on them. Why do you ask." Liara smiled, twinkle in her eye as she looked at the serious expression cross her love's face.

"I think you and i should make an appointment with them next week. Check them out." Shepard sighed.

"Shepard? Jane, are you suggesting what I think you are?"

"Adopting? Why not? I mean...I still want our little blue babies. We're both young, are financially independent and have plenty of love so share. Why not give a few of those little ones we saw a home." Shepard returned a lazy smile to Liara, leaning their foreheads against one another.

"Then it shall be. I will make an appointment for early next week." Liara replied, planting a chaste kiss on Shepard's lips. before the moment was interrupted by a cough behind them.

"Breaks over lovebirds." Aethyta smiled "We have a few dozen more children to visit Santa before the children's visit is over. Shea's decided to move the adult after party to another venue."

Quirking an eyebrow, Shepard spared a glance at Liara before looking at Aethyta "Where?"

"Purgatory. Aria is expecting us to be there thirty minutes after we're done here." Aethyta explained.

"Father, we will need to go back to the Normandy to change I cannot wear this outfit to Purgatory" Liara stammered before Aethyta cut her off."

"Leave the suits on, both of you...Trust me..." the Matriarch smirked, patting her nervous daughter on the shoulder. "Santa and Mrs. Claus still have visitor requests and they will be filled"

"Goddess, what have I gotten myself into." Liara sunk down. If she could have disappeared into chair she would have.

Shepard smiled wickedly. "I dunno Li, sounds like this could be fun."

An hour and a half later, Aria awaited her guests arrival from her divan in the VIP lounge. Glancing at Tevos, who wore a form fitting red dress, something well suited for the festive atmosphere of the occasion. Her omnitool pinged, it was a message from Shea saying they were wrapping things up at the cafe and would be over shortly. The message also included a halo of Isabella.

Thea smiled as Aria showed her the halo. Isabella was wearing Shepard's red velvet hat, which she had snagged off Shepard's head moments before the shot was taken. " Isabella is so mischievous , and Shepard is forever patient ."

"Remind you of anyone?" Aria smirked.

"Isabella or Shepard."

"Isabella." Aria rolled her eyes.

"I suppose you are right. Isabella, even at such a young age is already displaying many of the same personality traits of her father. Goddess help poor Shea and Lenea when she is older, that girl is certainly going to be a handful." The touching family moment was broken as the noise of a large crowd entering filled the dance floor. Shepard and Liara had arrived.

Aria's was transfixed when she glanced at what they were wearing. Shepard was sporting a ghastly red and white suit with a matching atop her head, certainly not club savvy attire. The Shadow Broker, on the other hand, was wearing an outfit, that while similar in color, was far more revealing. With a plunging neckline and very short skirt, the Pirate Queen now saw why Aethyta sent her the request. Liara, forever the "innocent" looked like a walking billboard of Asari sexuality. Well, if this is what was attracting so much unwanted attention to Liara, Aria would need to spice up Shepard's outfit to even the playing field.

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**AN: Happy New Year everybody. I apologize for the delay in updates for both this fic and The Turning Tide. I am an Accountant and it is yearend craziness for me so work and holiday obligations have made it difficult to carve out time in which to be creative. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Mass Effect and its Characters are property of BioWare, I just try to make you laugh. **

Thank you once again to my awesome collab partner MiizBHavvin. If you aren't reading her fics, stop reading this and go read her stories...now...Santa Commander's watching.

Thank you to everyone who has followed/fav'd/reviewed the story. I thoroughly apologize for the delay in completion, but real life took precedence.

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"I still don't understand what this has to do with Santa Claus at all Shea. I mean since when have your known St. Nick show cleavage?" Shepard huffed as she put on the modified Santa outfit provided by Aria.

"Since St. Nick became St. Shepard. Now hold still a minute." Shea closed the zipper, nodded in approval as she stepped back from the commander.

"Not bad Shep" Aria stood in the doorway "You may actually give T'Soni some competition wearing that."

Aria was commenting on Shepard's new outfit. While the red and white combination still consisted of slacks and a 'jacket' , left very little to the imagination. Every curve in the commander's sculpted body, which often went hidden in her unflattering BDUs and armor, was on accentuated with the skin-tight fabric. There was no doubt that revenge was on the menu with the cleavage now on display, the dangerously low neckline left little to the displayed the marine's breast rather well. "Just don't flash anyone. I've already had to throw out a few Alliance personnel after they got overly excited over T'Soni's incident at the bar."

"No worries Aria. Pretty much everyone her now has been invited." Shea retorted. "They're either Normandy crew, friends and family."

"Let's get this over with then." Shepard replied as the two escorted her two of the dressing room.

Aria's staff prepared a Santa's corner much like that at Apollo's. However, with adult entertainment in mind, this was certainly not going to be family friendly by any means. Approaching the Santa and Mrs. Claus seating area, Shepard was greeted by a shocked Liara. The good doctor was aware that Shepard was changing outfits, having seen Aria and the other human whisk Shepard away when the first arrived, but she certainly wasn't expecting something quite so enticing.

Liara blushed "Shepard...you look amazing" was all the highly educated doctor could think to say, her mouth instantly dry at seeing so much of her commander's supple flesh on display.

"Thanks. I don't normally wear stuff like this, but it's for charity." Shepard sighed, taking her seat.

"Yes. For charity." Liara agreed. Her eyes narrowed slightly when she noticed a few of Aria's dancers raking their eyes over _her _bondmate. A slight pang of regret hit Liara as she realized she may have made Shepard feel this way while at Apollo's when so many fathers eagerly sought the Asari's attention. By the Goddess she was going to make sure everyone on the Citadel knew with absolute certainty that Shepard belonged to Liara T'Soni.

_2 hours later: The party_

Eggnog. What a curious drink, especially once spiked with Ryncol one could almost forget the main ingredient had been spawned by an earthen bird from Uranus, right? Or was it… _Goddess, do I really want to know?_

Soon after taking their seats, the lines for both the commander and Liara grew to impressive length. Throughout the evening, the Santa Commander and Mrs. Claus entertained the stream of guests eager to have their halos taken with the savior of the galaxy. For the most part, to Aria's credit, people were well behaved and did not unnecessarily grope either Liara or Shepard.

Aria also provided them with an ample amount of this eggnog. The commander consumed more and more of the thick shake like concoction, becoming increasingly friendly with Santa's visitors.

Liara was not pleased to find Aria in line to visit Santa, who was now beyond drunk, jacket now on the floor, only a sheer tank top separating flesh from passing voyeurs. _This was not what I imagined this evening to be._ The wolfish grin on Aria's smug face as she sat much too comfortably in Shepard's lap. Shepard was beyond rational thought, her hand settling on Aria's thighs as the Asari wrapped her arm around the commander's now bare shoulders.

"Don't worry Shep...just trying to get T'Soni hot under the collar. Think it's working?" She whispered into her ear.

Shepard sheepishly threw Liara a glance, grinning stupidly from the alcohol coursing through her veins "Yea. She looks pissed." Shepard buried her face in Aria's leather clad shoulder to hide her blush, but this was the last straw for the Prothean expert as she storm next to them to extract Aria from her lover's arms.

"If you do not get your hands off of my bondmate this instant Aria T'Loak I swear I will warp you into dark matter, not that you'd need much help getting there." Liara glowed with biotic energy as she flared in jealous anger, to which Aria merely laughed.

"Relax T'Soni" Replied Aria, standing away from the commander, who was still attempting to hide from Liara's wrath. "I was merely teasing _you_, and it appears I was successful."

The party waged on, so far almost free of "incidents". EDI and Jeff had taken to prank calling the council, asking to speak with a Mrs. Meg A. Soaraze. James and Wrex had, _oh Goddess, _had nearly stripped naked comparing scars. Javik was lecturing people on the capital punishment that was intoxication…

This was a good [hic] night indeed.

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_The next day:_

Dr. Chawkwas stepped out of the med-bay for her usual morning coffee. Life was grand, she'd survived another year, and drinking contest with their resident Krogan Battle-Master, no small feat indeed. As she calmly opened the door the smell hit her… Permeating alcohol, stale cigarettes and … _Oh God… _Yes… that smell was definitely the result of the body's self-preservation initiatives to thus repel dangerously high levels of foreign toxins… aka, _these poor idiots puked all over the mess…_

"Piercing eyes and projectile stomachs indeed." She shook her head and stepped back into the med bay, remembering she had given the socially awkward scientist a small brewer during their SR-1 days. Despite Liara's new role as Shadow Broker & Normandy XO, she still on occasion slept in the AI core, especially after a difficult night. Expecting the brewer to now reside in the AI core, the doctor knocked on the door softly, expecting an answer. _Strange, she's usually up by now. _Another knock, only louder; same result. As much as she hated to invade Liara's privacy, she was worried and sauntered in.

"Oh good God!"

On Liara's small vid display was a continual loop of "Vaenia's Greatest Licks." And well Joker, passed out over the keyboard, mere inches away as it should be. _That man will be the death of me…_

To the right of the storage room she noticed a small cot "fort" had been built using sheets and alcohol bottles as "tent pegs." Upon seeing the crudely written note, "Vaenia auditions here", _Joker!, _Chakwas surmised the Galaxy's savior and Prothean expert were sheltered there.

To the back of the room was a half eaten Christmas tree, with a snoring Krogan spooning it for dear life. As he coughed she could swear she saw pine needles fly out of his mouth.

She then took a step forward with the intent of checking on Wrex, as she feared his drunken ingestion may have poisoned him when…

_Soft, yet hard. Familiar. _

"Ahhh Christ!"

"Ashley! Oh my God! I'm so sorry… but what in bloody nine hells?" Looking down at him she didn't know whether to laugh or laugh hard. Her eye-brows had been shaven, unflattering lip-stick smeared across her mouth, and face paled by powered make-up.

"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Batman!" Joker grinned, looking very proud of himself; "T'was as silent and as boring as a mouse until I got here."

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**AN** See you all next year, cheers all. And thank you again MiizBHavvin, you make me a better writer.


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